Productivity Without Performance

I’m back, under forced circumstances, but happy to be back on the page. Today I’m home with my sick kid. She has a cold that’s kept us both quieter than usual. The house sounds different. Doors closing more gently. Words spoken more softly when they are opened. Our voices carrying easier without the static of music or TV. 

I’ve been working all day. It has been freeing too. I am more productive without the superficial burdens of face time and smiling, makeup and presentation. No distracting stops to process the niceties or needs of others. No performance. Full focus on the work. 

At the same time, I’ve been deliciously rooted in the whims and rhythms of my daughter's needs. Listening for her. Adjusting to her. Stepping in when she calls, and stepping back when her door is closed, when she’s on the phone, when she is immersed in her own work.

In between, there has been payroll and schedules, emails and the early outlines of summer. The kind of work that rarely gets seen but holds everything together. They say leadership is invisible. Today, that feels less like an idea and more like a fact. And as the day winds down, I am grateful for the kinkeeping that I can hold simultaneously. I am grateful for this time of productivity without performance.